I find it funny that us humans think we have so much control over our lives. We plan and think everything will go according to our plan, but how often does it not and we have to learn to be okay with it?
I feel like God has been teaching me the same thing over and over when it comes to having babies. We try to control things as best as we can, but God’s will always succeeds our will. And what a blessing that is. I take comfort in knowing that, even though it sometimes feels hard when I’m in the middle of it.
We had the best surprise last year when we found out I was pregnant with our third baby girl in three years. This was not in our plans, but it definitely was in His.
My pregnancy was boring and low risk (which I was very thankful for) up until it wasn’t. I went to a doctor in a small hospital this time around instead of a midwife. This was one way God protected Luke and I. Had I not started in the hospital, I would’ve ended up in the hospital by the end. It saved any trauma we had experienced in previous pregnancies due to transferring to the hospital. We had many reasons to choose this doctor instead of our midwife. We had our second baby at this hospital and absolutely loved it. It just felt right.
Around 33 weeks during pregnancy, I started having intense itching on my hands, feet, and all of my body. Along with more symptoms that I thought I left in the first trimester. Nausea, food aversions, and intense fatigue. I knew these were symptoms of a liver condition called cholestasis. I also knew the signs and what to look for since I’ve had it with my previous pregnancies and was positive I had it with this one. I asked my doctor to do bloodwork to check for cholestasis. A week later, my doctor confirmed that I had it and would be induced at 37 weeks. He told me it was very serious. That baby could be fine one day and gone the next. He told me that paying attention to baby’s kicks and movements were very important at this time. I also had to do non stress tests twice a week to keep an eye on baby until I delivered.
Cholestasis of pregnancy is a fairly new thing. There isn’t a lot of information on it because they are still researching it right now. Basically, my liver wasn’t filtering bile correctly and it was flowing into my blood stream. It isn’t life threatening to me, but it can cross into my placenta and reach the baby and kill her. I knew it was best to be cautious. I wanted to do whatever it took to have my baby safely in my arms.
So we scheduled an induction day right at 37 weeks. It felt weird picking a “birth day” to go have my baby. It was a couple weeks away. But at this point in pregnancy, I was pretty miserable. The itchiness was so intense that I wasn’t sleeping at night. I could barely function during the day and often needed extra help from family. It’s such a vulnerable place to be, not being able to take care of my kids and my home without help. But it was such a blessing that my sister stayed with me during this time.
We had a scare one night. Baby was most active from after dinner, around bedtime, and to when I was trying to sleep at night. She had been my wiggliest and strongest baby I’ve felt in the womb. But hours had passed after dinner and I hadn’t felt her at all. It had also been a day that I was feeling more unwell than usual. I did all the things like pushed on her, ate some sugar, and got up and moved around to try and get her to move. We frantically left for the hospital to go check on baby (waking up the toddler’s we just put to bed to leave them with grandparents). I put some worship music on during the ride. It was hard not to fear. It was hard not to imagine the worst, that my baby had passed. I knew in my heart that my God was good and we were in His hands. But in my head, I still struggled with fear.
We picked up my mom on the way to the hospital and she talked to us to keep our minds busy. She made the hour drive to the hospital feel surprisingly fast. Literally as we were pulling into the hospital drive, the baby moved! It was such a relieving feeling. Thankfully, from then on, she was her very active self until she was born.
Induction day finally came. We said goodbye to our two toddler’s that morning and left them with Luke’s parents while we went to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital, got checked in and started the induction. It felt very boring in the beginning. My mom was there with me again as my doula along with Luke. I can’t imagine not having her there at every birth now. She has always been extremely helpful. I appreciate her emotional support, help during labor, and of course having someone to talk to while getting through the boring parts.
Labor is funny. Time almost doesn’t feel like it exists. Hours pass fast, or at least it does for me. Once things started going, I felt like the time passed quickly. They started the induction around 1pm by giving me cytotec to help me start contracting and dilating. I started having contractions a couple hours after receiving the medication. It was easy and early labor for a few hours. Luke said he didn’t know when I was having contractions at first because I just got super still and quiet. I labored on the ball a bit, walked in the hall with Luke, and sat in bed for awhile too. I wanted to get things moving along but was also feeling tired and wanted to rest. It was such an odd combination. My contractions started spacing out around 7pm, so they started me on pitocin then. I was slowly progressing and things were moving along well.
A few hours passed, and it was nearly midnight when active labor started. I was hoping I’d have the baby out before the day was over. I was still hopeful that she’d be born in the next few hours though. By this time, I had to really focus on breathing through contractions and could no longer talk through them. I didn’t have the intense hip pain like I did in previous labors. This was another answered prayer! I thought I would have it with every labor and was surprised that I didn’t experience it this time. I used a comb for acupuncture/pain relief. It was something I had read about online. Whenever a contraction started, I’d squeeze a comb (squeezing the teeth of the comb into the part of my hand where my palm and fingers meet). It’s supposed to reduce the pain of contractions. I really thought it helped, but even if it didn’t, in my head it did. Luke offered to hold my hand or help in some way. He made a joke that he had been replaced by an inanimate object. We all laughed. I was surprised I didn’t need as much support from him or my mom. My nurse was amazing though. Over the next couple of hours, she came in each hour and helped me change positions. This helped my labor progress. Having a nurse you like and one that works well with you makes a huge difference in how your labor goes. I’m so thankful that this hospital has been such a good fit for my family.
During one of the times my nurse came to check on me, she mentioned that the anesthesiologist was in the other room with another patient. She asked me if I’d like to get the epidural while she was up here already. (I had discussed before labor started that I was considering getting one when labor got hard). I felt like I was handling the contractions well though. I was breathing/moaning through them and didn’t feel like I needed pain relief yet. I thought I could probably go a couple more hours without it. But I felt like I had to get it while she was here, since it was convenient to her. There wasn’t any pressure put on me by anyone but myself though. So I agreed to have her come in and give me the epidural. When the anesthesiologist came in, I signed the papers to have it administered and she put the epidural in me. They gave me a large dose of medicine to get my epidural started. Then they had me lay on my back for the medicine to kick in and numb where we wanted it to. It was in the middle of the night now and I was exhausted and ready to close my eyes for a bit. My nurse left me so I could rest. Luke and my mom tried to get some rest, too.
I had closed my eyes for a few minutes, when my chest started to feel funny. I told my mom and she asked me to explain to her how it felt. It felt like it was bubbly and floating. It was a very odd sensation. My blood pressure had dropped into the 80/50 range and stayed there for a bit. When I started to fall asleep, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I don’t really know how long this lasted since I was in and out for a bit, just trying to sleep but also breathe. I felt a little frustrated because the reason I wanted the epidural was so I could get some rest and I felt like it was counterproductive at this point. I started to get scared and asked Luke to sit by me and hold my hand. He wasn’t sleeping anyways because he was concerned about my blood pressure as well. My nurse came back in because my contractions had spaced out and she bumped my pitocin up. This helped bring my blood pressure back up and I was able to rest better. My nurse also told me that a drop in blood pressure is normal when you get the epidural, but it was the first time I’d experienced it before and this was my third experience with an epidural.
Since I had the epidural, my movement was limited, but I could still move my legs. They just felt really heavy and like they were asleep, so I had to think a little hard when moving them. I could move myself slowly into different positions and not need much help. I was very thankful for this since I still wanted to be changing positions.
A couple hours after I got the epidural, my doctor came in and broke my water. After he left, I started to get discouraged. I don’t know why I was putting a time limit on myself. It had only been 14 hours since the early labor contractions. I knew that Luke and I both were starting to wear out. I started to think “this is taking too long”. (Little did I know, I would have a baby in my arms an hour later from that thought!) So I prayed and prayed. I thanked God for His protection and bringing us this far, and I asked God for His favor and that this baby would come soon. He answered that prayer very quickly.
An hour later, My nurse came in and checked me and I was fully dilated! I started crying because I was so happy and couldn’t believe my baby was almost here. She had me lay on my back and do practice pushing. After I pushed once, she said, “I’m going out get the doctor, don’t push!” I was extremely uncomfortable as I waited for the doctor even though it was only a few seconds. I wasn’t pushing but my body was and I couldn’t stop it. My doctor came in and set up quickly and I started to get ready to push again. I pushed for about 30 seconds and Amy Kate was born around 5:30am! She came out faster than my previous baby did. They lifted her up and placed her on my chest. She didn’t cry right away but she just looked around and made noises. She was very alert and happy though. My doctor quickly said, “Oh” and I noticed concern in his face and asked him, “Am I hemorrhaging?” And he told me, “Yes, we can’t do delayed cord cutting.” So he handed my mom the scissors and she quickly cut the cord. I looked up at Luke who was standing by my head and he had his hand over his eyes. (I was concerned about him passing out). But than the doctor said, “Oh, you’re not hemorrhaging, it’s just the placenta.” I had pushed my placenta out at the same time as Amy. I was relieved to hear it was just that!
Amy weighed 6lbs and 15oz and was 19.5 inches long! She was a good and healthy size at 37 weeks. My mom held her for a little while as I fell asleep shortly after having her. I don’t remember being that exhausted after my other deliveries, so it was nice that she could be there and hold her for me.
After my mom went home, we got settled into our postpartum room. I was able to walk to my room since my epidural had worn off by then. And then we slept some more. It felt odd again having a baby so early in the morning again. I felt amazing not being pregnant anymore! It felt like I had been pregnant for three years and it just felt amazing being able to eat without feeling sick and no longer itch like crazy.
Later that evening, Luke’s parents brought the older girls to meet their baby sister. Rosie wasn’t so sure about her and thought she was just a baby doll. Hally absolutely adored her and loved holding her though. She would even tell Amy “shhh” when she started to fuss. It was so precious seeing her be a little mama. This was such a sweet memory.
Amy Katherine or “Amy Kate” as we call her, is named after her Grandmother Katherine and Aunt Mary Katherine.
Her Grandmother is a strong, woman of God, who I greatly admire. We pray she takes after her grandmother’s humility, grace, wisdom, and servant heart.
This third pregnancy, delivery, and recovery was my easiest so far, even though it was my scariest. Labor was 15 hours from start to finish (but only a few hours if you count from active labor). And I praise God that my body takes well to inductions. The first week home was challenging as I recovered and learned to balance three kids. But I was so thankful Luke had paternity leave this time and could stay home with me the first week. I was also surprised and very thankful that I was able to get back into as normal life as I could a couple weeks after having Amy. Having two toddler’s made it hard for me to stay down for too long anyways. (Or maybe it is my hyper self? LOL)
We have been so blessed by God that He has given us these precious girls. Through Amy Kate’s pregnancy and delivery, He has taught me that the enemy likes to take our weaknesses and use them for his benefit. But I need to know God’s truth and lean on it in those times of fear and weakness. I hope that Amy Kate’s story encourages you to do the same.
Blessings & Shalom,